TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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