sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
