her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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