Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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