i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
