Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
