Non-Jews are for practice
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize