why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
