But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
