No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
