She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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