yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
