I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
