so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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