i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
