Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
