Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
