they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
