Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize
