She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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