part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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