I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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