Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
