i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize