I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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