i think i scared a bird with my dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
