ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
