I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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