Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
