Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
