Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
