shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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