Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
