why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
