I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
