My friends, they love my intelligence
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
