You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
