i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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