if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
