Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
soo... how was my night?
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