I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
