I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
