put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
