it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i love accidental penises.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
