told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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