just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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