i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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