he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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