I am in a vortex of obligation.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
