my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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