yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You left your phone here
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