A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
