so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
