is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
