its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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