Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
