I cockslap morals
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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