who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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