It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
