in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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