i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
