i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize