We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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