help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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