Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize