why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize