Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Non-Jews are for practice

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

Fav 22 3163 995
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(303): View more from Colorado

woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.

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(515): View more from Iowa

He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.

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