Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
