it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
