I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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