he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
